Why are your friends so happy with Relationships 123
Everything on this website has been written by me, Denise Culley. While I am most definitely a gifted relationship coach (I have stats to support that statement!), I am not so brilliant as a writer. But, I will try my best, because it’s my most sincere calling to reach as many people as I can, so they can also have their dream relationship.
Below is a narrative to help you have a better insight into why our programs are called magical.
If you had a program that saves marriages, connects men and women to clearly understand each other, and has singles change their patterns so they can and do attract the love of their life, wouldn’t you want everyone to benefit? Well unfortunately, what’s in between all those couples and those results is marketing. My ability to sell and market. Not exactly my calling. So I continue to push myself to be a better writer and better at marketing, so we can reach more people. If you are inspired by any of my words, let me know, so I know if I am getting it right.
Now here is a story to share the typical progression and reasons why your friends want you to hear about our program.
I am going to tell you about the typical couple rather than any specifics about your friends. Feel free to ignore any details you can’t relate to, and extract the pieces that you can relate to. It’s impossible to come up with one story to fit everyone.
They are like most couples, they love each other and are doing their best to manage all aspects of their life. He is working hard, and she is either is a mom who works tirelessly, she has a career, or both.
For the most part they are so busy that rarely do they have time for each other. They tease each other about the lack of sex, but the truth of it that is really bothers them.
The biggest complaint she has is that he is not there for her. Yes, he works hard, but she misses the connection they used to have. Every time she tries to tell him what she wants or needs, he gets mad. He feels like her “complaining” is unfair. He feels that he is doing the best he can, he just does not know what she really wants or why she is always complaining. At night she lays thinking about the things that are bothering her, feeling more and more trapped and a wall begins to build between them. Feeling like he does not care, and even more frustrated because until he hears her needs, she is even more hurt by his unwillingness to hear her. This is too important to her, so she does not give up. Yet each time she brings it up again, he gets madder, feeling like she is either nagging or she is hurting his feelings, by insulting him. He just can’t understand why she won’t drop it.
They get to a point where they know they need help. He doesn’t want to go for help, he thinks it’s a waste of time. Things are ok, this will pass. He is so busy with his work and all his projects that he has no idea of the time bomb that is ticking inside of her. On the outside she looks like everything is ok, but inside she is starting to entertain conversations in her head, the type of conversations that ultimately leads to separation. So she needs to talk to someone, and she talks to her girlfriends. But they are no help, they’re not doing much better. “I don’t know what to do”, she thinks.
He suggests a vacation will help. They go, they have fun (or she does not get a real vacation because she still is taking care of the kids 24 x7), but when they go home, everything returns to status quo, the problem is still there. Great, they spent all this money and she is still unhappy. After providing her with this wonderful vacation, he thinks that women just can’t be happy, and dismisses her again thinking “I don’t know what to do?” So he ignores the problem, and she sinks into a depression. The upset turns into frustration and resentment. And now they argue more than ever. As a way to defend himself from the arguing, he either yells back or walks away. Some couples just learn to repress the upset and even if they don’t argue anymore, they are no longer close. They are two roommates sharing a home. Yeah maybe they do stuff together, but it’s not the same. He really wants his lover back, he wants her to be happy, but he does not know what to do!
In this scenario, what women want is to be heard and for him to change his life to accommodate her needs. She is not a man, and what seems upsetting and overwhelming to a woman seems like inconsequential to him, so he dismisses her upset as petty.
Finally, a friend of hers told her about a course she went to that saved their relationship. Desperate for anything to help, she calls and discovers that the relationship expert on the phone really gets her. We have a program that will teach you how to say what you want in a way that he can hear and understand. Right now your approach is ineffective. But since you don’t know another way, each time you retry the same approach you are just forcing a greater wedge between you. He is not insensitive to you, he just does not know what to do. And when men don’t know what to do, they react differently than women, and you interpret that as “he does not care” or “he is selfish”. The relationship coach tells her that she will get training and he will also learn what women want. Because right now, you are not saying what you want, you are saying what you don’t want. Too much complaining is having him tune you out.
Encouraged by the conversation, she asks her husband to talk to the coach because she thinks this will help. Skeptical, he calls. (he knows he has to, otherwise it looks like he is not willing to try to improve things.). To his surprise the coach explains the man’s perspective very well. And in fact shares what women need to learn and how this weekend will give him all the tools to help him be more successful at understanding what she is NOT saying. Because mostly, why men don’t respond is because what sounds clear to a woman is really in female code and men just don’t understand. So he agrees to go to the weekend course. It’s a fair chunk of change, but it’s actually cheaper than therapy and it’s quicker and the coach promises a money back guarantee.
Right away, within the first hour, they are both having a great time and the first lesson explains a lot of the causes for fights and break-downs for men and women.
By lunch time, they already received their money’s worth, just with the exercises they have seen so far. If they were to go home now, they already have had conversations that demonstrate they are on the same page now.
Then at lunch, more lessons to learn. While the lunch is designed to allow the participants time to relax and bond with others in the course, there are some fun, playful exercises for the women to practice. And a new practice for the men to try on at lunch.
After lunch, the men go off with Emmett to gain some tips about romance. It’s just the beginning of what men learn about how to win consistently in romance. Fortunately while the guys are away, the women are joined together for some rich women bonding conversations. Time to ask burning questions, and to begin to learn the secrets to being a women that knows how to ask for what she wants in a way that men respond to. Learning that the pace and the reactions of men are different and a part of their wiring, so it’s not personal.
We reconvene, time to share the model for successful relationships. One that will have each person heard, feel respected and each person gets what they want, as long as it contributes to the well being of the partnership.
By now everyone is inspired and intrigued by how this evening date will work. Some are skeptical, some are reluctant, some think they know exactly how it will go. Boy are they in for a big surprise!
Without giving away any juicy surprises, (because the dinner date is the most exciting part of the weekend.) The women and men go off at different times to get dressed in their elegant evening attire for their evening out. Time for romance! Since there are single people and couples and usually an uneven number of men and women, they can’t imagine how this works. But by now, they trust us, so they are willing to suspend their concerns or their need to have it all spelled out. “Don’t worry, we do this every time and it always is amazing!”
Fast forward…. The next morning. The day starts and there appears to be a new energy and new happiness in the room. All the couples are smiling, even the occasional couple that were not talking before the course. Surprise! Even the singles have this new smile on their face. Something evidently happened at the evening. (Of course I can’t share that because I won’t ever ruin your experience by telling you in advance. And don’t ask your friends because they don’t want to spoil it for you either.)
The first thing we ask is for each person to write in their journal, their favorite parts of the day before. What was the most powerful lesson they learned? What do they see now, will make a difference for their relationship? Of course, EVERYONE can’t say enough about the dinner date. They are really inspired by the easy concepts they learned yesterday. Not only is it doable, it has already relieved much of the tension or unspoken obstacles in their relationship. Everyone expresses how connected they feel to each other and everyone in the room. A sacred space of friendship and trust has been created and now the powerful lessons can begin.
By the end of day two, people are blown away. Not only by how their life has been wonderfully impacted by the lesson learned, but by the lessons they learned from each person in the room. New acceptance and awareness creates a new appreciation for the opposite sex. As well as new inspiration and knowing how the littlest adjustments will make their relationships thrive and develop stronger bonds.
Back to our typical couple. She now sees, that her husband’s reactions were not what she thought they were. She now sees how her approach to partnership really sets him up for failure as her man. He now learns to read a woman and know how to ask her to give him better information. Now that she will show more patience, and understand when is the right time to ask or interrupt, he is committed to be a better listener. Since the experience of their amazing passionate weekend, he is inspired by the tools he was given to keep the intimacy alive. And best of all, all the emasculating hurtful looks and comments are now replaced with thoughtful patient appreciation for all he does as a man. With the repair of those deep emotional wounds, they leave happy, with a new approach to making each other’s happiness a greater priority.
The question you ask yourself may be, how can one weekend accomplish all that? The answer is, the results speak for themselves. If 80% of the people say this course changed their life. And 94% are delighted over their experience and if people call and email to report how, years later, the course has never left their thoughts, why would you doubt it.
Finally, I just want to say one thing to you. Plenty of people haven’t allowed themselves to attend this course, even though they were in varying degrees of unhappy to miserable when I talked to them. The ridiculous part is they don’t want to spend the money. They naively don’t value their happiness or the success of their relationship enough to spend $450-$550 per person. Yet they would easily spend that on entertainment or recreation or possessions. This cost of this course is ridiculously cheap in contrast to what you gain. If you could be guaranteed that your partner would be happy, wouldn’t you spend triple that? Well we do guarantee our work. But the caveat, is that only people who really want this and are ready to give it their all are accepted into the program. We only offer it to 18 people per weekend. Therefore we want the most interested 18 people, since their participation is all part of the richness of the course.
We created something special here, and we will do everything in our power to preserve it’s power, by keeping our standards high and our attention to detail and excellence, we’ll take it even higher.
If you are someone who is really up to the relationship of your dreams, give us a call. We promise to deliver!
